WHAT IS HAPPENING...
RefTown normally sends all emails out in a form that is commonly used by mailing lists. The email headers are set to show the email was sent by reftown.com on behalf of the person who sent it.
From: john.doe@aol.com
Sender: mailer@reftown.com
Repliy-To: john.doe@aol.com
When such an email is also sent to either another aol user or copied to the person who sent it, AOL's email system sees that it is "From" an aol address and "To" an aol address. AOL determines that it must be a bogus email since it knows it didn't come from an AOL system....they ignore the "Sender" designation. As a result, AOL generates a bounce message. In most cases, the original email is actually delievered and the bounce message is just a nussaince.
HOW TO PREVENT IT...
RefTown offers an option to each user to change how emails are sent that they trigger....they may elect to have the emails sent simply "From" mailer@retown.com. The emails are still sent in such a way that replies will be directed to the actual sender but it will not indicated that it is from AOL.
To set this option...
All future emails will then be sent with the headers indicating it was sent by RefTown
From: mailer@reftown.com
Sender: mailer@reftown.com
Repliy-To: john.doe@aol.com
EFFECT OF THIS OPTION...
Emails in the recipients inbox will not show as "From" the person who sent it but from "RefTown User (for John Doe)".